Reprinted by permission of the American Psychological Association Help Center
As a parent, you may be struggling with how to talk with your children about a shooting rampage on a university campus. It is important to remember that children look to their parents to make them feel safe. This is true no matter what age your children are, be they toddlers, adolescents, or even young adults. Consider the following tips for helping your children manage their distress.
Talk with your child – Talking to your children about their worries and concerns is the first step to help them feel safe and begin to cope with the events occurring around them. What you talk about and how you say it does depend on their age, but all children need to be able to know you are there listening to them.
- Find times when they are most likely to talk: such as when riding in the car, before dinner, or at bedtime.
- Start the conversation; let them know you are interested in them and how they are coping with the information they are getting.
- Listen to their thoughts and point of view; don’t interrupt--allow them to express their ideas and understanding before you respond.
- Express your own opinions and ideas without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it is okay to disagree.
- Remind them you are there for them to provide safety, comfort and support. Give them a hug.
Keep home a safe place –Children, regardless of age, often find home to be a safe haven when the world around them becomes overwhelming. During times of crisis, it is important to remember that your children may come home seeking the safe feeling they have being there. Help make it a place where your children find the solitude or comfort they need. Plan a stay at home night where everyone participates in a favorite family activity.
Watch for signs of stress, fear or anxiety – After a traumatic event, it is typical for children (and adults) to experience a wide range of emotions, including fearfulness, shock, anger, grief and anxiety. Your children’s behaviors may change because of their response to the event. They may experience trouble sleeping, difficulty with concentrating on school work, or changes in appetite. This is normal for everyone and should begin to disappear after a while. Encourage your children to put their feelings into words by talking about them or journaling. Some children may find it helpful to express their feelings through art.
Take “news breaks” – Your children, especially teenagers and young adults, may want to keep informed by gathering information about the event from the internet, television, or newspapers. It is important to limit the amount of time spent watching the news because constant exposure may actually heighten their anxiety and fears. Also, scheduling some breaks for yourself is important; allow yourself time to engage in activities you enjoy. Try to do something that includes family members as well as your children’s friends.
Take care of yourself – Take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Be a model for your children on how to manage traumatic events. Keep regular schedules for activities such as family meals and exercise to help restore a sense of security and normalcy.
These tips and strategies can help you guide your children through the current crisis. If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to consider talking to someone who could help. A licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward. It is important to get professional help if you feel like you are unable to function or perform basic activities of daily living.
This tip sheet was made possible with help from the following APA members: Ronald S. Palomares, PhD, and Lynn F. Bufka, PhD.
Copyright: APA 2007
Posted by Lynn-Marie TaylerLabels: child health, child safety
Car Seat 102: Choosing the Right Seat
by Lynn-Marie TaylerNews from Consumer Reports that ten popular car seats failed their safety tests sent parents and the car-seat industry into a tailspin. Among those that failed included the Evenflo Discovery, Britax Companion (the E9L14 model, which was recalled in September 2006), and Graco SafeSeat. According to CR, in side-impact crash tests of 38mph and front-end impact tests of 35mph, the seats had a tendency to come loose from their bases, ejecting the crash test dummies from the seats. They recommended only two seats for purchase: the Baby Trend Flex-Loc and the Graco SnugRide with EPS. Just recently, CR retracted its test results, due to faulty testing standards that had them using impact speeds of more than 70 mph, not the stated 38 mph. But the damage has been done, and many parents are left wondering if they have the safest seat.
There are so many choices when it comes to buying the right child restraint. “The best seat is one that fits your child, fits your budget, installs properly in your vehicle, and will be used properly each and every time,” says Melissa Marowelli, a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician. CPSTs are certified after attending a 32-hour course with the National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration (NHTSA) and passing both a written and an oral test with no less than a 90%. They must also be recertified every other year, part of which includes taking a number of continuing education units—much like teachers do. In other words, these people know their stuff. Before heading out to the store, do your homework, she advises. “Check out websites such as www.car-safety.org, www.car-seat.org, www.carseatdata.org, www.cpsafety.com and www.epinions.com for recommendations and reviews from real parents and certified technicians.” She also advises to avoid Consumer Reports: “They only test a select few seats and generally their advice isn’t always the best; they specialize in household products, not products to keep your kids safe.” In fact, she and many other CPSTs, as well as the Juvenile Products Manufacturing Association (JPMA) and the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), were skeptical of the recent Consumer Reports study from the outset. For one thing, CR testing standards have not been made available, although they admitted they used different ones than the NHTSA, IIHS and other agencies. Also, it is unclear just how they installed the car seats and whether or not improper installation factored into the results. Improper installation is the leading cause of car seat failure, and it can be disingenious to rate a seat poorly if the reason it performed below expectations is because of human, not design, error.
So what’s a parent to do? Marowelli offers some common sense tips to help you choose the right seat for your child:
- Do your research before going to the store. “The packaging on car seats is confusing and if you don’t prepare ahead of time, you could end up wasting money on something that won’t work for you.”
- Do make sure the seat you choose is appropriate for your child. For example, if your car has bench seats with no headrest, you need to purchase a high-back booster to provide your child with adequate head support. If you are purchasing a seat that requires installation using LATCH (such as the SafeGuard Go), make sure your car has the proper equipment.
- Don’t purchase or use any seat from a resale shop, yard sale, or with an unknown history. Seats that are older than five years or that have been in an accident, even a minor fender-bender, could experience a deterioration of the seat’s plastic components, affecting its sturdiness.
- Don’t use a booster that has a shield (arm) instead of a harness or allowing for seat belt use. These have a history of ejection in crashes and have since been recalled from the market.
- Do check to make sure the seat will fit properly in your vehicle.
- Do look out for product recalls. Check out http://www.cpsc.gov.
- Do have a certified CPST show you how to properly install your seat and periodically have it re-checked by them to confirm it is still safely installed. To locate a CPST near you, call toll free 1-888-DASH2DOT or visit the NHTSA on the web.
For many children, they will spend just as much time in their safety seat as they will in their crib. Why not choose the safest and most comfortable seat you can afford? Your child deserves it.
The Best Seats
Marowelli provided her personal recommendations for the best seats on the market (from least to most expensive):
Infant Carriers: Baby Trend Latch-Loc (only for LATCH-equipped vehicles), Chicco KeyFit, Graco SafeSeat 1, Graco SnugRide 2
Convertible Seats: Cosco Scenera 5pt, Evenflo Titan DLX, Evenflo Triumph, Britax Marathon/Boulevard/Decathlon
Combination Boosters: Evenflo Chase, Graco Ultra or Platinum Cargo, Cosco Apex65, Recaro Young Sport
Forward-Facing Only: Graco SafeSeat 2, Britax Regent, SafeGuard
High-Back Booster: Graco TurboBooster, Evenflo Big Kid Confidence, Compass B510, Britax Parkway, Britax Monarch
Low-Back Booster: Graco TurboBooster, Evenflo Big Kid, Cosco Ambassador, Cosco Prospect
Labels: child safety
